IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
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There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether museums are places to spend your leisure time or the main purpose is education. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I am going to present both views and give my opinion. Some people tend to think that the most important thing
of
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about
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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museums is to let everyone relax and
enjoy
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themselvesenjoy
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,
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apply
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 because it will let them overcome stress. One of the
first
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 things we need to take into consideration is that modern society
have
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has
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 enough pressure in everyday life and information flow
in
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is
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 erroneous, it all can even lead to depression, that’s why visiting cultural places like that may help to deal with it.
For example
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, by looking at historical
artifacts
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artefacts
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 or art pieces
person
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a person
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 can abstract and forget about worries, it helps to rest and generate new powers to prevent emotional burnout.
However
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, others insist that cultural institutions need to be visited, because of the importance of being educated. Modern technology is taking place over the world and people tend to spend their free time online rather than visiting museums, it mostly affects teenagers that’s why
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of them aren’t versed in history and art. Some people are afraid that
growing
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the growing
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 generation will have nothing to tell their descendants due to the lack of education in culture. Having considered both views, I am convinced that each statement is right and in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 it would be more useful if they were connected together.
By doing
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Doing
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 that, it would be beneficial from the side of education and entertainment.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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