As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

#invention #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health

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There is no doubt that the electronic revolution makes pupils inactive and

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

their health

Add the particle

to be

show examples

affected.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

life

has been easier.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

thisDespite

show examples

, I undebatably reckon that our

life

would have more

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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if we stood

Change preposition

show examples

this

way. In fact, the vast majority of crowds allege that our

life

standard is becoming higher than before

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

due to electronic devices.

In addition

vast

Change the article

a vast

the vast

show examples

number of problems have been tackled by

this

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

thisDespite

show examples

, it spoiled any chance of having

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life

Furthermore

, the constructive criticism

Change preposition

show examples

governmental dictation policies is due to plenty of individuals

worry

Wrong verb form

worrying

show examples

about

this

issue.

For instance

, electronic devices and the internet make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping easier, as going to stores is not needed anymore.

Besides

, in

this

situation

Add a comma

,situation

show examples

people have less activity in comparison

Change preposition

show examples

before. On the other

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

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hands

Add a comma

,hands

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people waste their spare time

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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trivial tasks

instead

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

daily activities have been decreasing over the past decade due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intellectual development. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, plenty of duties

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

we have done by hand before we don’t do that

Correct your spelling

today

todays

Correct your spelling

today

because it is alleged that humans should

Change the verb form

have

show examples

be have

Correct your spelling

behave

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more time for thought to expand their humanities

behavior

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behaviour

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Likewise

, the

labors

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labor

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disputes mention that humans should not work by hand and employees must make

Add an article

a situation

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situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

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which in they do their less handy

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

For example

, employers might well sit on their

chair

Fix the agreement mistake

chairs

show examples

Change preposition

for more

show examples

than eight hours per day without exercise. Whereas, they are working but they have any activities. In

conclusions

Fix the agreement mistake

conclusion

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, it seems that our healthy

life

would be

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

this

issue and in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

would be a quite huge problem in future.

Submitted by ahad.dana on Fri Oct 14 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
obesity
exacerbate
mental health issues
fitness apps
urbanization
work culture
obsolete
health landscapes
awareness
wearable fitness technology
digital detoxes

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As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words

Some Children spend a long time each day on their smartphone. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinio

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education.Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

We are living in a throw-away society and things are used in a shorter period I of time and thrown away. What are the causes of this phenomenon and what problems might it cause?