As a result of electronic invention such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent so you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that the electronic revolution makes pupils inactive and

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

their health

be

Add the particle

to be

show examples

affected.

However

,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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human’s

Change noun form

human

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life

has been easier.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

thisDespite

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, I undebatably reckon that our

life

would have more

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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,

Remove the comma

apply

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if we stood

on

Change preposition

in

show examples

this

way. In fact, the vast majority of crowds allege that our

life

standard is becoming higher than before

is

Unnecessary verb

apply

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due to electronic devices.

In addition

,

vast

Change the article

a vast

the vast

show examples

number of problems have been tackled by

this

.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

thisDespite

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, it spoiled any chance of having

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life

.

Furthermore

, the constructive criticism

to

Change preposition

of

show examples

governmental dictation policies is due to plenty of individuals

worry

Wrong verb form

worrying

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about

this

issue.

For instance

, electronic devices and the internet make

the

Correct article usage

apply

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shopping easier, as going to stores is not needed anymore.

Besides

, in

this

situation

Add a comma

,situation

show examples

people have less activity in comparison

of

Change preposition

to

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before. On the other

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

hands

Add a comma

,hands

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people waste their spare time

for

Change preposition

on

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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trivial tasks

instead

.

Moreover

,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

daily activities have been decreasing over the past decade due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intellectual development. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, plenty of duties

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

we have done by hand before we don’t do that

Correct your spelling

today

todays

Correct your spelling

today

because it is alleged that humans should

Change the verb form

have

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be have

Correct your spelling

behave

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more time for thought to expand their humanities

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

.

Likewise

, the

labors

Change the noun form

labor

show examples

disputes mention that humans should not work by hand and employees must make

Add an article

a situation

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situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

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which in they do their less handy

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

.

For example

, employers might well sit on their

chair

Fix the agreement mistake

chairs

show examples

more

Change preposition

for more

show examples

than eight hours per day without exercise. Whereas, they are working but they have any activities. In

conclusions

Fix the agreement mistake

conclusion

show examples

, it seems that our healthy

life

would be

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

by

this

issue and in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

would be a quite huge problem in future.