16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is very important to keep architecture in mind for a city when it is planned
,
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apply
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so that it could be beneficial for society. Some think that
while
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building up a town it is essential to make parks and
sports
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places for inhabitants. I agree with
this
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statement because it has many benefits for the community. First of all, public gardens are good
to increase
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for increasing
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communication among people.
For instance
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, they do not have enough time to spend together
due to
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their busy life. So, publically, they would be able to speak with each other in their spare time.
Hence
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, citizens would have the opportunity to discuss issues which are being inclined in their society.
Moreover
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, seniors' and juniors' health problems are resolved by exercising in the part on a daily basis which helps to keep them fit. Second of all, opportunities for games and
sports
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also
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have their own merits for youngsters and juveniles.
For example
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,
sports
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facilities attract to youngsters
towards
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apply
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play.
As a result
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, minors and older stay away from harmful addictions
such
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as drugs.
On the other hand
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, the shopping centres
also
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have pros in the city because people have daily necessities and if there
will be
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are
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shopping spots, the people do not have to go outside
for shopping
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to shop
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and it will help to save time and money as well. In conclusion, both points have their own points but in my opinion, parks and social
sports
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spots are an ideal idea for the community
instead
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of shopping centres.
Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of supporting ideas is lacking depth and specificity. More relevant specific examples are needed to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The introduction and conclusion are adequately presented, providing a clear structure to the essay. However, the supporting main points lack sufficient development and coherence. The essay needs more cohesive devices and logical flow between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • recreational areas
  • green spaces
  • cityscape
  • well-being
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • ecosystem
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • consumer culture
  • retail therapy
  • land use
  • zoning regulations
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
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