16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time

It is very important to keep architecture in mind for a city when it is planned

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apply

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so that it could be beneficial for society. Some think that

while

building up a town it is essential to make parks and

sports

places for inhabitants. I agree with

this

statement because it has many benefits for the community. First of all, public gardens are good

to increase

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for increasing

show examples

communication among people.

For instance

, they do not have enough time to spend together

due to

their busy life. So, publically, they would be able to speak with each other in their spare time.

Hence

, citizens would have the opportunity to discuss issues which are being inclined in their society.

Moreover

, seniors' and juniors' health problems are resolved by exercising in the part on a daily basis which helps to keep them fit. Second of all, opportunities for games and

sports

also

have their own merits for youngsters and juveniles.

For example

sports

facilities attract to youngsters

towards

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apply

show examples

play.

As a result

, minors and older stay away from harmful addictions

such

as drugs.

On the other hand

, the shopping centres

also

have pros in the city because people have daily necessities and if there

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

shopping spots, the people do not have to go outside

for shopping

Change preposition

to shop

show examples

and it will help to save time and money as well. In conclusion, both points have their own points but in my opinion, parks and social

sports

spots are an ideal idea for the community

instead

of shopping centres.

Submitted by sonia.devi66971 on Sat Oct 15 2022

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of supporting ideas is lacking depth and specificity. More relevant specific examples are needed to strengthen the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The introduction and conclusion are adequately presented, providing a clear structure to the essay. However, the supporting main points lack sufficient development and coherence. The essay needs more cohesive devices and logical flow between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban planning
recreational areas
green spaces
cityscape
well-being
pedestrian-friendly
ecosystem
sedentary lifestyle
consumer culture
retail therapy
land use
zoning regulations
ecological footprint
sustainable development
infrastructure

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16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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