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Band 6.5

Some people think that money is the most essential factor in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness?

#people #money #factor #happiness #factors
It is believed by some people that the most necessary element which contributes to
happiness
 is money. In my viewpoint, certainly, money is
one
 of the major components that bring
happiness
 in
one
’s life,
additionally
,
one
 must have a
sense
 of satisfaction and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 along with wealth. On the
one
 hand, I think it is very significant to have quite a handful of affluence so that we can afford to achieve our desired goals. To be more precise, money is required to possess whatever we wish to have, on top of it, if our wishes come true it gives us immense
happiness
.
For instance
, with the advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, nowadays, almost every individual
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
sense
 of competition among each other,
however
, it may be possible that the others have no idea about the clash which is going on in
one
’s mind,
such
 as if we see people wearing the most trendy outfits, eventually it is natural to crave for owning the similar kind of fashionable clothes.
Furthermore
, it is very common to desire
for
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apply
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more or less the same kind of furniture which our
neighbors
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neighbours
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 or our friends own.
Nevertheless
, it gives us unconditional contentment if we could accomplish the aim of getting what we want.
On the other hand
, in my opinion,
one
 must have a
sense
 of appeasement.
Otherwise
, the need to thrive will never be stopped. To be clearer, there should not be a race to attain every small thing which is captivating.
For example
, it is not important to look or dress similar to someone who can afford expensive dresses,
moreover
, I think more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical appearance
one
’s expressions, language along with
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 scores major points,
however
, it is essential to be presentable. So, it is important to save resources and fortune by enjoying the pleasure of what we have with us. To conclude, I strongly support that wealth is indeed a very necessary part of our lives to be able to achieve ambition,
however
, to maintain
happiness
 in life
one
 should have a
sense
 of gratification.
Submitted by rotie69bath on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Essential factor
  • Promote happiness
  • Sense of fulfillment
  • Social connections
  • Well-being
  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Goals and ambitions
  • Sense of purpose
  • Fulfillment
  • Engaging in activities
  • Hobbies
  • Gratitude
  • Contentment
  • Supportive community
  • Inclusive environment
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