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Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasis #products #development
Currently, business owners do not want to lose their competitiveness and are tended to advertise their
products
 as newly invented .I am of the opinion that it is a negative trend, while
products
 can lose their value and harmfully affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products
 that freshly come to the market. The
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a number of
companies
 that are combative and they are trying to sell their
products
 in different ways for running their
companies
 and at the same time
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 in an advance
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 others.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some are selling their outcomes as newly produced, despite the expiry date and quality of
products
. To cite an example, fashion
companies
 might sell clothes as a recent collection, that the
last
 had been
keeping
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
storage
at
Change preposition
for at
show examples
 least five years. The businesses are selling their
early produced
Add a hyphen
early-produced
show examples
products
 using social tools.
Although
, these attempts might affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society negatively.
Firstly
, when
products
 are not novel their consist might be destructed as well as the
last
 in its turn can be causes of various health disorders.
Additionally
, new entrepreneurs who tended to inform the people of their newly invented
products
 can face difficulties due to already
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
show examples
companies
 even
their
Correct word choice
if their
show examples
 outcomes are not healthier as it was before.
For instance
,
pharmaceutical
Correct article usage
the pharmaceutical
show examples
 industry
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 to sell inti-flu drugs that are not able to protect the human body from the new virus’s virion. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
marketing
Add a comma
,marketing
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
companies
 that advertise their
products
 as newly produced for selling them as quickly as possible. It is a negative trend that can cause health problems and obstruct the ways of new businesses.
Submitted by oddiss.270298 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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