Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are two sides to whether advertisements are still affecting a person’s purchase behaviour. In

this

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matter, I agree that it has tremendous ways of guiding us on which to buy, even though others claim they are no longer influenced by it regardless of how many methods it has. On one side, in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, we face all kinds of advertisements,

such

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as website banners, street boards, and brand logos everywhere even on our clothes. Some people think they do not focus on these advertising campaigns anymore

due to

Linking Words

over-usage.

For instance

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, big-screen commercials on crowded streets have been one of the most efficient methods before the smartphone becomes popular. If we look at the street, it explains why

this

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method is not practical, as half of the pedestrians only look at their phones and barely see their road.

Although

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it is true that technology changes human behaviour, I think we should not ignore its persuasion completely.

On the contrary

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, it affects our decision-making process without giving us

Correct determiner usage

any

show examples

clue about doing it. Today, it is no more secret that our information is being collected by tech companies.

Moreover

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, their data scientists develop AI, capable of predicting users’ next purchase based on previous actions made on the internet. Take,

for example

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, Facebook with the highest number of social media customers and Google with the most searches made every hour swap data in order to understand its users and offer detailed deals

align

Wrong verb form

aligned

show examples

with user characteristics.

Consequently

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, I believe companies are able to advertise their products to the targeted segment where people have a high chance to buy them. In conclusion, some people believe advertisement is the most influential on purchase,

while

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others argue that it is not anymore.

however

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, commercials may seem no longer effective, but they can be successful with the help of the data we give unintentionally.

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coherence cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by using transition words and linking phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument of the essay.

task achievement

Address the task more thoroughly by providing a balanced discussion of both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Make sure to fully develop each point with adequate examples and explanations.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some employers involve their emoplyees in their decision-making process. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernise, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?