IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills, but others think having a range of subjects is better for a child’s future. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #child’s #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children
skills
Use synonyms
, but others think having a range of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is better for a child’s
future
Use synonyms
. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. It is natural for parents to want the best possibilities for their child including education. There are people who think learning different skill sets is better in terms of children’s
future
Use synonyms
 while others believe
varieties
Use synonyms
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 are more important. I believe both
skills
Use synonyms
 as well as teaching different
subjects
Use synonyms
 is valuable for their
future
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, learning
skills
Use synonyms
 are beneficial for the overall development of a kid. Learning computers or training for leadership activities creates a background to have hands-on experience for the
future
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is important to get a degree and take different courses to secure a job, interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 assessed in the interviews. So, it is important to prepare students to strengthen their
skillsets
Correct your spelling
skill sets
show examples
 by teaching different which will be useful in tackling a real-world problem.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important that our education system includes
varieties
Use synonyms
 of competency-building exercises in its curriculum.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teaching
varieties
Use synonyms
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 can be crucial for enhancing a child’s
future
Use synonyms
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
children are not fully aware of the choices they have which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 why they keep on changing their
future
Use synonyms
 goals. Exposing them to a number of options may provide clarity on what courses they are most interested
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Additionally
Linking Words
, it will enhance their decision ability which will
also
Linking Words
 help
choose
Correct pronoun usage
them choose
show examples
 clear options for their career ahead.
Thus
Linking Words
, to focus on the overall development of a child they should be introduced to many kinds of
subjects
Use synonyms
. To conclude, a range of
skills
Use synonyms
 and
varieties
Use synonyms
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is crucial for a child’s better tomorrow.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is important to understand and choose both these aspects to grasp the best opportunities for a child.
Submitted by adhianusha75 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: