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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #home #area #study #work #cities #development
Adolescence
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Adolescents
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 departs from their home in the countryside looking for jobs or for studying in urban areas and there is more than one reason for that , we will handle in
this
 topic the merits and demerits of
this
 action. At the
first
, the rural area hasn't
have
Change the verb form
had
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 enough sources to build factories or universities since it will take a lot of government funding towards the infrastructure of these buildings without real profits,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 the building in
such
 areas will cut the trees and affect the
environment
Replace the word
ecological
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 system to serve a small group of people.
On the contrary
,
such
 small businesses applied in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 as commercial projects according to habits will serve a lot of people living there without additional transportation costs for their goods beside the tides between families will get stronger and they still communicate with their relatives well. In the conclusion, the concept of building and investing in
such
 amenities will be related to its payback and the benefits behind that so I think it depends on the type of the projects or the grade of education only these factors can determine the right choice.
Submitted by basem.eltantawi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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