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Band 6

Some believe that children should start school after the age of 7 while others think that school should begin from a very young age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #children #school #age
People's opinion differs as to whether the correct
age
 to start schooling is 7 or lower.,
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
 I agree with the latter viewpoint. Those who argue that students should start studying after the
age
 of 7 have their reasons.
Firstly
, the mind is not developed
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early
age
. Due to ,
this
 they are not able to focus and concentrate on their studies and learn properly.
For example
, In Sweden, grades are improved by 1 point during the
last
 3 years after the Government makes 7
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the minimum
age
 for getting admission to schools.
Secondly
, if they begin school
Change preposition
at an
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
early
age
, it will put extra stress on their mind.
This
 stress becomes mental trauma when they turn into an adult.
However
, I sided with those who feel that children should start school at a very young
age
 because it will put them a step ahead
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 late. If Children attend school at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
, they are able to learn at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
 and gain more knowledge than those who begin late.
For
Example
Add a comma
,Example
show examples
 a boy in our street, start going to kindergarten at 4 and now he
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
 to speak more than the student who
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
at
age
 of 7.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 reason is that attending
institution
Add an article
an institution
show examples
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 stage
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 their social quality
such
 as interaction with others
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
 friends. In Conclusion, while there are
Correct your spelling
reasons
reasond
Correct your spelling
reasons
believe
Fix the infinitive
to believe
show examples
 that
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 should start after 7, my own view is that it should
begins
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
 at early
age
Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it should help them to learn earlier and develop social skills in them.
Submitted by caashishgoyal96 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional development
  • cognitive development
  • play-based learning
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • cooperation
  • communication
  • structured environment
  • learning disabilities
  • developmental delays
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