Many students take part-time jobs whilst studying in a university. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

A significant number of undergraduates take
an hourly-paid jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
an hourly-paid job
hourly-paid jobs
show examples
whilst in a tertiary.
This
may be due to several reasons that one could think of,
however
, I believe the negative effects
this
has on the
student
outweigh the benefits, as will be discussed in
this
essay.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that when a scholar undertakes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time work while studying, he is able to support himself financially without being dependent on his family or on the government.
For instance
, one could be able to pay his or her school fees or affords to buy a book needed when the family could not meet the means.
However
, engaging in a paid job and learning simultaneously can hinder the academic performance of the individual, in that, a lot of time needed to study at home after lectures would be spent at the workplace.
Also
, the undergraduate would be stressed out,
would
Correct word choice
and would
show examples
not find enough time to rest or refresh himself for the
next
day
Change noun form
day's
show examples
activities.
For example
, some universities close
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lectures in the middle of the day,
an
Correct word choice
and an
show examples
hourly-paid
student
would again, go to work right after class, without having time to go over what was taught during lectures.
Furthermore
, studies have shown that students who take part-time jobs often feel inferior to those who do not.
This
can go a long way to affect their self-esteem and would reflect on their social relationships, as well as their academic performance. To cite an example, some
elite-youngsters
Correct your spelling
elite youngsters
show examples
always think that only less-
priviledged
Correct your spelling
privileged
or poor scholars would have to combine studies with work.
This
stereotyping has led to many
student
-workers having lower self-image at school and are always subjected to bullying. To conclude, despite the fact that working as a
student
can earn one some amount of money to ensure financial stability, the disadvantages outnumber the merits because the
student
has to go through a great ordeal
such
as stress, poor academic performance and low self-esteem.
Submitted by augesta7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: