IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
This
 paper will discuss the positives or negatives related to the new tendency of testing
alternative
 medicines and treatments
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 who already suffer from
health
 problems. Every medical improvement helps the world to detect and treat diseases more effectively.
However
, in my opinion, these decisions should be made by professionals, not by patients.
Therefore
, I consider it a negative impact that
people
 with
health
 problems decide to take new
therapies
 by themselves. Nowadays, thanks to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, there is a lot of
health
 information about everything you can imagine. So,
firstly
 before making any decision, you should investigate in depth what these new
therapies
 promise and consult them with your general practitioner to assess. it is whether it could be a good
alternative
 or if both
therapies
 (the one already prescribed and the new one) could be combined to improve the patient's
health
 conditions. What is more, having the perspective of a professional
also
 makes you get out of the scams and lies that many
therapies
 promise. I remember that 2 years ago, I went to a free group session about how healthy different products were
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 losing weight and I realized that they only wanted me to buy their products and
promotion
Replace the word
promote
show examples
 them to other
people
 from my surroundings.
Secondly
, it should be remarked that your medical history is confidential and private and no one except your doctor will know what is best for you as they can see you through the years. Some
people
 might consider you know your
health
 condition very well,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 it is quite hard to remember each illness and infection you have had previously since you were born. When you go for
alternative
 medicine, you probably forget what you have done before or what kind of reaction you have had
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any medicine. It is essential that a doctor who has got your
health
 condition history documented in a way advise you for your treatment. In general, I believe in the validation of both points of view since
people
 always want to hope that their disease will be cured, but they
also
 have to know how to decide wisely what is best for themselves.
That is
 why I explained my inclination towards the negative aspects
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 trying
alternative
 medicines and treatments.
Submitted by belenbelen.glez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: