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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

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Nowadays,having a job cannot make
people
Use synonyms
 feel stable anymore since the world has been exponentially altering.In the following paragraphs causes and some soluble solutions will be presented. Modern technologies
such
Linking Words
 as the internet and artificial intelligence have been developing substantially.
Consequently
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,employers utilize these in their companies
instead
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 of using labor causing a large number of
people
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 to lose their positions.
Additionally
Linking Words
,since the world now is globalization employees with great
skills
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 can transport to other countries that have better income and better quality of life easily so the citizens in the countries have to be more competitive than before. The ways to deal with
this
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 problem for individuals are to improve themselves and find second jobs.
Firstly
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,their expertise needs to be broadened
such
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 as language
skills
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,technological
skills
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,communication
skills
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 and coordination
skills
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 in order to be at the top of their areas which any technologies or other persons cannot replace.
Moreover
Linking Words
,they should make a consideration on another working organization,which can be done simultaneously with their current occupational place.
That is
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 to say,doing these provides them with reassurance from any situations that can happen.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
people
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 can retire early by investing in the stock market,bonds,gold or cryptocurrency
due to
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 these investments can accelerate their income.Some investors can make money with these things more rapidly than their own incentives. To summarize,work life today is more complicated than in the past since novel technologies have noticeably progressed and the world is now globalization.To tackle
this
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 problem,
people
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 should enhance their job
skills
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 ,apply for other workplaces and invest in assets.

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task achievement
Clarify your points further with specific examples. While you discuss technologies like artificial intelligence and globalization, adding concrete examples could make your points more understandable and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between ideas to improve the flow of the essay. This will enhance the logical structure and make your arguments easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your main points are equally developed. Your solutions section could benefit from more elaboration to balance with your discussion of the causes.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay.
task achievement
You address both the causes and possible solutions for the changing work conditions, fulfilling the task well.
task achievement
You identify significant trends such as technology advancements and globalization as causes, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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