Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools aren’t necessary; instead, children should be learning a useful subject such as science and computer. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#people #time #money #music #classes #schools #aren’t #children #science #computer

In our daily life, every

subject

offers the same advantage not only for children but

also

adults. It depends on personal

interest

study

for a career in the future. Some

people

believe that we should spend time and money on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

essential

subjects

instead

of creative

subjects

such

music

classes

. In the following paragraph, both of these views will be discussed in detail. Every

people

has their own ability and of course that each person has their distinct way in the future as well. Learning new things is a part of our life, but many

people

argue that we should spend more time on the main

subjects

for instance

, science, computer, and so on than creative

subjects

. In fact, these all main

subjects

can provide us with a career in the future and get more knowledge.

However

, not every

people

have the same

interest

study

useful

subject

. Some

subject

which uses creative than knowledge attracted some target group. Many

people

also

love to

study

relaxing

subjects

such

as art and

music

classes

. It can make learners feel relaxed and under no

stressed

Replace the word

stress

show examples

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

music

and art can treat us better and more comfortable to learn. If learner learns their favourite

subject

, they absolutely make an effort out well. In summary, I personally disagree that we should spend time and money on just the main

subject

. Every

subject

should be equally for

study

or it should depend on children to learn their

interest

. It

also

is better to

study

their own favourite than follow the way that many

people

study

. For me,

although

science and computer are significant in our daily life,

music

classes

or relaxation

classes

are

also

significant as well. we should respect their

interest

than decide

instead

learner.

Submitted by Plengpnww on Mon Oct 17 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools aren’t necessary; instead, children should be learning a useful subject such as science and computer. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.