IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

new research shown that overeating has become bigger problem in the world than hunger . what are the reason of this problem ? how can solve it ?

#research #world #hunger #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, humankind faces more and more issues related to
unbalanced
Correct article usage
an unbalanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
, and it is known that recent studies revealed that overeating has become a bigger concern than
hunger
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and suggest possible solutions. There are a few reasons making
this
Linking Words
 tendency a bigger issue than
hunger
Use synonyms
, and one of them is devastating
health
Use synonyms
 problems. Due to the
overweight
Add a comma
,overweight
show examples
 more and more people contract
such
Linking Words
 irreversible diseases as obesity and
diebetes
Correct your spelling
diabetes
.
Big
Correct article usage
A big
show examples
 amount of consumption of sweet products,
for example
Linking Words
, will
Correct your spelling
definitely
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 lead to these
health
Use synonyms
 problems and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 makes individuals' lives miserable. Another undeniable fact which is caused by overeating and
such
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 issues is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 people's productivity and lower
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 output. Overeating, in short, indeed overeating is becoming
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 pervasive problem for many nations than
hunger
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, several solutions might be offered to tackle the problem effectively. The government might increase
Correct your spelling
awareness
Correct article usage
the awarenness
show examples
awarenness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 of the population about
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and
untoward
Correct article usage
the untoward
show examples
 consequences of
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
 on our
health
Use synonyms
. If on the national TV channel there is an educational TV show about
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
, more people will have basic knowledge about
nutriotions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 and might prevent contraction with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
related diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
, imposing high taxes by the state authorities on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food might alleviate the overfeeding tendency. In conclusion,
overating
Correct your spelling
overeating
overarching
, indeed, is a more serious challenge for countries across the world to resolve than
hunger
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay demonstrated that
treatening
Correct your spelling
threatening
health
Use synonyms
 problems
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 diabetes and obesity and low productivity
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon more dangerous, and
alleveating
Correct your spelling
alleviating
population's
Correct article usage
the population's
show examples
 awareness about
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and simple imposing high taxation on food might be useful measures to ease the situation.
Submitted by assanovn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: