IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people prefer the lifestyle and activities offered when living in a cold environment. Others prefer a hot environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyle #activities #environment
Nowadays,
one
 of the widely discussed issues is that many point out that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better in cold climates whereas other
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
select living in sunny counties. In my point of view, cold weather conditions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more beneficial for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Add an article
the individuals
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will examine both pros and cons of
this
 controversial issue. On the
one
 hand, there are many controversial problems.
To begin
 with, many people
ertertain
Correct your spelling
entertain
 to play summer games.
One
 of the oblivious reasons is that the majority of youngsters and elders are able to do many activities
quick
Change the adjective
quickly
show examples
 and
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
 when the weather is hot.
Moreover
, according to the research, sunlight is essential for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plans
Correct pronoun usage
our plans
show examples
 and
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health as it gives a chance to get more energy from the sun. Take sunflower as an example, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists
Add an article
the scientists
show examples
 believe that
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of plants
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 sunshine as they create more proteins from it ,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
this
 reason, they always
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 to
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is believed by some that living in
cool
Add an article
a cool
show examples
 climate is more effective .
One
 key benefit is that in
such
 type of weather the air will be much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
fresher . It is undeniable that fresh air can
prevents
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 some serious diseases
such
 as lung cancer, asthma and respiratory problems in children.
For instance
, my brother
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some problems with lunch
therefore
, he prefers to live in northern counties in order to be healthy. In conclusion, having
weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
show examples
 everything mentioned into account, I would suggest that cold and warm weathers have positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all creatures and humans. In my opinion, cool climates can cause to treat some
deceases
Correct your spelling
diseases
show examples
 and it is generally beneficial.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: