some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

The importance of
children
's choices which was always debatable has now become controversial. Some individuals argue that kids should have
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
to decide their own choices
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
daily-life
Correct your spelling
daily life
show examples
, while others reject
this
notion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because folks claim that it will lead to selfishness in
children
's lives, and have an effect on
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
life.
This
essay will examine and elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
view. On the one hand, a plethora of people
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
that giving their offspring a chance to pick their own decision in
daily-life
Correct your spelling
daily life
show examples
is crucial
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it will give them a lesson regarding responsibility. Through making
Correct article usage
a selection
show examples
selection
Add a comma
,selection
show examples
the young generation will know the consequence, and they will face
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
, if
children
prefer to play games
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, they will become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foolish
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class. As it is inevitable to have undesirable outcomes, kids are forced to be more conscious of their decision.
Consequently
,
instead
of being
abounded
Wrong verb form
abounding
show examples
with egoists, society should be filled with people who are more considerate
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
themselves as well as the community.
On the other hand
, a large number of
parents
tend to guide their kid’s
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
because they believe that old people have knowledge of what is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
and not.
Therefore
parents
prefer to teach their offspring since the cognitive skills of the young generation are immature.
For example
, a lot of cases showed that
children
always make decisions based on their egocentric beliefs. If
parents
do not take any action to interrupt it, it will lead to many consequences in the coming days. In conclusion, folks should give their offspring free wishes under
Correct pronoun usage
their parent’s
show examples
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
guidance. Because it will build
children
’s confidence, and
parents
can teach many lessons from the kid’s
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: