IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?

#people #countryside #cities #movement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
Overtime
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
,
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
 of many
people
Use synonyms
 from the village to the capital
cities
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly obvious.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem led to overpopulation in the capital
cities
Use synonyms
. I hold the belief that the government puts
this
Linking Words
 issue
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration to reduce
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 effects of it. My point of view is going to define the reasons and find possible solutions for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. From my perspective, reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the movement from the rural
cities
Use synonyms
 to the urban
cities
Use synonyms
 by a number of individuals can be represented by
scarcity
Add an article
the scarcity
a scarcity
show examples
 of many services related to water, electricity, roads and other services
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
base
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
 of life for humans not as a way for entertainment.
Thus
Linking Words
, the lack of these resources makes some
people
Use synonyms
 living in the countryside move to the city.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that many individuals, especially young
people
Use synonyms
 who are ambitious, work in facilities located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the city; lack of means of transportation doesn’t enable those
people
Use synonyms
 to arrive
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 work on time,
thus
Linking Words
 they have to move to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 so as not to lose their jobs.
This
Linking Words
 means that the government should pay more attention to that issue. I think that officials should provide these villages with
lacked
Wrong verb form
lacking
show examples
 resources as we mentioned in the previous paragraph and repair roads to facilitate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movement inside and outside the rural
cities
Use synonyms
, as well as
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 means of transportation
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
available to enable employers to stay on time at work. In conclusion, after
this
Linking Words
 essay has manifested the above-mentioned views, it can be reiterated that
replacement
Correct article usage
the replacement
show examples
 of the villages with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 by many
people
Use synonyms
 must be overcome to get rid of the overcrowding by following certain reasons and ideas to find possible solutions and apply them.
However
Linking Words
, the implementation may take a time to see perceived results , but it will be achieved.
Submitted by jihad.ibrahim28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: