Parents should encourage children to spend less time in studies and more time in physical activities. To what extent do you agree?
No one can deny that guardians should encourage their kids to spend little hours in study and much more time in healthy physical exercise. I agree with
this
notion Because today's learners will only focus on their studies and not spend the day on good activities I will discuss this
in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with the agreement, In this
modern ,era all parents are worried about their child's
careers and they force their sons every time focus on their studies. Fix the agreement mistake
children's
In other words
, The students stress out about their learning patterns and which will affect their health and brain ability and impact their future life
and so many chances to lose their brain's memory without the activity they will become abnormal react to other people. For instance
, British experts reveal headlines physical development is an essential part of the activity and is useful for marriage life
successfully and its good effect on their society. Hence
, Physical things are good for individuals' habits and they will be worth full in the upcoming years.
On the other hand
, learners spend their life
learning something useful for their nation developed to help and it is important to study every beneficial thing for their life
such
as new courses. To explain, Nowadays every high-paid job will require
top-level qualifications Wrong verb form
requires
due to
their company will hire a good ability people and it helps their region's industries to succeed. For example
, In the USA schools will require all international students will examine their IQ tests and they believe high brain thinking is useful for their country. Thus
, Studying majors is important instead
of other activities and it is good for their life
.
In conclusion, Although
Physical attraction is good for some time but
studying new skills is much more grateful for their economy. Remove the conjunction
apply
Besides
, Today's all things are good but health is first essential for their community.Submitted by razab5469 on
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critique
Task response: The essay provides some arguments both in agreement and disagreement with the given statement, but the response lacks clear development and depth. Ensure to clearly address the prompt and provide a balanced and well-structured argument.
critique
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat discernible, but the organization is unclear and lacks clear linking of ideas. Work on using cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas and signposting language to guide the reader through the essay.
