These days people are living into their 90's and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly members or should the government be held responsible?

It is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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thought that a family should be in charge of caring
elderly
Change preposition
for elderly
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relatives, but some
people
believe that the
government
should take these responsibilities. The problem has been raising in developed countries where
people
are able to live 90 and more years. In my opinion,
families
must support their previous generations because the
government
is usually faceless. Family members living in a close-knit family always know better what their parents or other senior relatives require in terms of medical care, mental support, or just
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
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an individual’s personality.
Furthermore
,
families
already have the knowledge and abilities to help their elderly, so it should not create a lot of additional hassle. Taking care of a person who raised you or has been with you during your life should be respected and appreciated by
a
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apply
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society as well.
For instance
, a lot of major religions have specific thoughts that approve and inspire
people
to respect
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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parents and seniors in general. Some
people
might not have an immediate family, or they were less connected with other relatives, so there are no humans who are ready to take care of
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. That being said, the
government
should help
such
individuals.
Although
they will receive professional help in most cases, it might only damage because
government
institutions
such
as retirement houses are faceless, and
people
working there are not emotionally bound to retired habitants. If I were old, I would not want
this
destiny. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that the best way to support seniors is to allow them to be with their
families
when they are retired. I recommend living in extended
families
where grandparents living with you are considered to be normal.
Submitted by skoobrs13 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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