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Band 4

Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

#people #holiday #visit #places #country #boh
Some individuals
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 on
vaccations
Correct your spelling
vacations
vacation
 outside the
country
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 others are opposed to
this
 idea. I will discuss both views in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragragh
Correct your spelling
paragraph
 with my opinion. Many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 prefer to foreign
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 during
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 time, because they will get the chance to know about the other
country
 and their cultures.
Moreover
, it helps to build the
Correct your spelling
communication
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 between the
people
 of other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
.
Additionally
,
this
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way to get knowledge about the
Correct your spelling
financial
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
, educational and
Correct your spelling
health
helath
Correct your spelling
health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 of
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 as a consequence
people
 can adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their own
nation
 ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be helpful to the
Correct your spelling
development
devlpoment
Correct your spelling
development
.
For example
, japan has good train service, so the countries are changing their own system to see them. But
on the other hand
, some
people
 think that to spend
vaccation
Correct your spelling
vacation
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the
Correct your spelling
country
coountry
Correct your spelling
country
 is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 option rather go somewhere else.
Firstly
, the person will spend the money
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 the
nation
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will boost
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the economy.
Secondly
, the individuals will more about the
country
 and their cultures.
Secondly
, we should have depth
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
our motherland. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
a visit
show examples
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
country
 is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 option
instead
 within the
country
, because
this
 is
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 when we are free from our hectic schedule and explore new places,
people
 and cultures. In conclusion,
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 to foreign for holiday is important to get
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
education
Replace the word
educated
show examples
 about other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
, while some
Correct your spelling
individuals
individuls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 like to stay in their own
nation
 to get
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 deep knowledge.
Submitted by gagandeep02071996 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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