Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered that, in
this
Linking Words
day and age development technologies have significantly changed the style of
children
Use synonyms
. Modern
children
Use synonyms
favour spending the majority of their time engaging with digital content over staying physically active. I particularly agree that the elimination of
children
Use synonyms
's gadgets could cause maintenance of their wellness in the future, but currently, full eradication of using
devices
Use synonyms
is impossible because of their indispensable role in social life. On one hand,
children
Use synonyms
are incapable of understanding the detrimental impact of the overuse of electronic
devices
Use synonyms
on their
health
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
parents are responsible for the well-being of their offspring.
This
Linking Words
is the main reason, why they have to control the lifestyle of their
children
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the parental figures endeavour to limit the screen time activities of their
children
Use synonyms
with the intention of protecting
children
Use synonyms
's physical state. These actions are indeed advantageous in the
health
Use synonyms
preservation of the rising generation and lead to the prevention of eye, heart, nervous system, and other diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
would get more time to spend running, walking, swimming and other physical activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when parents are obsessed with the idea of securing their
children
Use synonyms
's wellness by way of getting rid of
devices
Use synonyms
, they overlook the fact that technology has become an integral part of our lives. Complete restrictions on the usage of gadgets in modern life could lead to developmental delays in
children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
have been entirely detached from the
world
Use synonyms
of technology and are incapable to involved with the times. They can keep their physical
health
Use synonyms
, but a misunderstanding of the technologically advanced
world
Use synonyms
leads to discrepancies between existing knowledge and the requirements of the contemporary
world
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, restraint on
children
Use synonyms
's using
devices
Use synonyms
has to be within acceptable limits and focused on preserving the balance between preserving
health
Use synonyms
and ensuring normal development in accordance with the demands of the modern
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your points more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your argument. Sometimes there is a slight contradiction in suggesting removing devices while acknowledging their importance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and logically structured, providing a balanced perspective on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Physical activity
  • Obesity
  • Posture
  • Vision problems
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Development
  • Social skills
  • Academic performance
  • Balance
  • Structured activities
  • Eliminating devices
  • Access to technology
  • Regulated screen time
  • Outdoor activities
  • Educational digital content
What to do next:
Look at other essays: