IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that young people bring more profits to a company. Others say that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #profits #company
There are some beliefs that the
youth
 can make more earns to an enterprise rather than the elders . On one hand , some
people
 see that young
people
 are more beneficial and more profitable ,
on the other hand
 , some believe that older
people
 tend to have more experience so they can bring a lot to the
company
 .
This
 essay will discuss why the majority of the staff should be young , but
this
 won`t underestimate the older`s expertise . Most
people
 believe that young employees could bring a lot to any business , and they even could make
this
company
 earns a lot of money and achieve a high profit because the
youth
 still have high energy and determination to work hard and prove themselves.
For example
 , lots of global companies hire young
people
 and if you realized that their staff is mainly the young whose ages are from 25 to 40 , so
this
 means the
youth
 are the backbone of any
company
 .
Thus
, lots of
people
 believe that relying on
youth
 is more profitable and it is indispensable . Scarcely, the crowd reckon that older
people
 would bring much more
profits
 to an enterprise . Maybe they believe that they are more deserving to have positions in companies and businesses , as they have years of experience , knowledge and skills to face any problems or flaws in the industry .
For instance
 , some studies have shown that emerging businesses always need the help of older employees as they have appropriate skills and good practice in their field . So obviously , depending on the older who have a suitable background in their work , would bring more
profits
 to a
company
. To conclude , there are different opinions about the ages of employees ; some prefer to hire the young and others tend to employ the old ; thinking
this
 would bring more
profits
 . In my opinion, we should rely on both of them to maximize the
profits
 , so I can get the regenerating power of the minority and get the best of their stamina ,
moreover
 , get the most benefits of their experience and their perspectives about the work policy .
Submitted by ahmeddrake058.ad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: