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Band 5

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?

#meat #health #yo
It is often argued that due to
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
meals
 , many individuals are facing
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 of health risks and it is advisable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people should give
preferences
Fix the agreement mistake
preference
show examples
 only to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetables. I ,
however
, disagree with the given assertion and will explore some logical reasons to support my answer in the impending paragraphs.
First
, people should not only
consumed
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian
meals
 as our body needs some vital vitamins which are only found in meat , fish and eggs .
In addition
 to
this
, to cure some deficiencies of the human body
such
iron
Change preposition
as iron
show examples
,
shortsightedness
Correct word choice
and shortsightedness
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers are advised to
Correct your spelling
consume
consum
Correct your spelling
consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
red meat, fish,
beef
Correct word choice
and beef
show examples
 by the dieticians . Even
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the studies conducted by WHO in
year
Change the article
the year
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 2021
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 shown that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the human body ' s ailments are cured by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-vegetarian
meals
 .
Secondly
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind will boycott the
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
meals
 and will consume only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
green leafy vegetables,
fruits
Correct word choice
and fruits
show examples
 ,it would
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the job opportunities for the employees of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurants
Change to a genitive case
restaurant's
restaurants'
show examples
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 ,
for example
,
Wendys
Change noun form
Wendy's
Wendys'
show examples
, KFC ,Burger king and Subway . The employees will have to face the issues of unemployment who earn their livelihoods from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
 good industries .
As a result
, the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 rate of every country will
adversely
Add a missing verb
be adversely
show examples
 get affected. In conclusion, it is not advisable that people should only give
preferences
Fix the agreement mistake
preference
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian
meals
 and should boycott
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
 cuisine as some of the health deficiencies are cured by the rare vitamins,
proteins
Correct word choice
and proteins
show examples
 which are only found in meat, eggs ,
beef
Correct word choice
and beef
show examples
.
Moreover
, the Economy rate of the countries
are depends
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the food industries to a great extent globally.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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