IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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If we want to reach a high
position
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 in our career, we need to
work
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 for different
organizations
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 and not
to
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apply
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work
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 for the same
organization
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 for a long time.
People
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 who
work
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 for the same
organization
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 all their working life don't reach
Correct your spelling
high
hiwgh
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higher
positions
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, unlike a person who moves between different
organizations
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. In my opinion,
people
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 who
work
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 for different
organizations
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 have more advantages than
people
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 who
work
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 for the same
organization
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 all their working life. While they
work
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 with different cultures, they have the opportunity to learn more and better and be promoted faster than
people
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 who
work
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 for the same
organization
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 forever. They can develop their careers and be promoted to better
positions
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 with great benefits. Working with different managers can develop their ways of thinking and teach them different ways of managing their teams in higher
positions
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.
In addition
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, working in different teams can promote their communication and interpersonal skills.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who
work
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 for the same
organization
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 for all their working life are loyal to their working place, and
this
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 is a good thing. If their
organization
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 has limited
positions
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 or a tight management pyramid, these employees will stay more time in the same
position
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 before they are promoted. Maybe some
organization
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 managers would love to have
such
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 kinds of employees. From my experience, good managers would prefer to have employees who want to develop their careers and not stay in the same
position
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 for a long time. It is great to stay in the same
position
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 for a maximum of two-three years and to move to the
second
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 level in their career, and if they can't do that in the same
organization
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, they must move on to another one.
Finally
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, changing
positions
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 between
organizations
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develops
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develop
show examples
 our careers faster than staying in the same
organization
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, especially if we stay longer than two-three in the same
position
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 without being promoted to a higher
position
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.
Submitted by samdanii678 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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