IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
If we want to reach a high
position
 in our career, we need to
work
 for different
organizations
 and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work
 for the same
organization
 for a long time.
People
 who
work
 for the same
organization
 all their working life don't reach
Correct your spelling
high
hiwgh
Correct your spelling
higher
positions
, unlike a person who moves between different
organizations
. In my opinion,
people
 who
work
 for different
organizations
 have more advantages than
people
 who
work
 for the same
organization
 all their working life. While they
work
 with different cultures, they have the opportunity to learn more and better and be promoted faster than
people
 who
work
 for the same
organization
 forever. They can develop their careers and be promoted to better
positions
 with great benefits. Working with different managers can develop their ways of thinking and teach them different ways of managing their teams in higher
positions
.
In addition
, working in different teams can promote their communication and interpersonal skills.
On the other hand
,
people
 who
work
 for the same
organization
 for all their working life are loyal to their working place, and
this
 is a good thing. If their
organization
 has limited
positions
 or a tight management pyramid, these employees will stay more time in the same
position
 before they are promoted. Maybe some
organization
 managers would love to have
such
 kinds of employees. From my experience, good managers would prefer to have employees who want to develop their careers and not stay in the same
position
 for a long time. It is great to stay in the same
position
 for a maximum of two-three years and to move to the
second
 level in their career, and if they can't do that in the same
organization
, they must move on to another one.
Finally
, changing
positions
 between
organizations
develops
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 our careers faster than staying in the same
organization
, especially if we stay longer than two-three in the same
position
 without being promoted to a higher
position
.
Submitted by samdanii678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: