Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Do you agree or disagree?

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With the unprecedented exigency for better-paid professions, it is widely thought that attaining a bachelor’s degree is the only viable approach to becoming triumphant in life, whilst others believe taking up an occupation posthaste would be preferable. From my standpoint, the erstwhile route would bring about more potential benefits to not just young individuals but

also

enterprises and the factors for it will be discussed in more in-depth in

this

essay.

Firstly

, it is noteworthy that possessing a baccalaureate would open up innumerable opportunities for pupils. Notwithstanding its obscurity, studies have showcased that having a college degree is directly proportional to a more tailored working experience.

For example

, in Japan is where newly-graduates could have the ability to apply for a job relating to their major, and have the freedom to develop to their fullest potential, thereby being the nation with the most productive personnel among numerous establishments.

On the other hand

, there are disputes raised by objectors stating that obtaining a profession would be much more constructive.

This

is by virtue of the fact that with in-depth engagement people gain, in comparison with having to not just spend an extravagant amount of money to take part in an institution, but

also

having few opportunities to get involved in practical experience. The argument is true to some degree;

however

, what it lacks is that undergraduates are capable to apply for apprenticeships, alongside part-time jobs, which could bring as many avails because they could learn to master time management, learning and working simultaneously.

For instance

, in Western countries, universities make allowance for concurrent students to do part-time jobs in deviant places, ranging from eating outlets

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

to internships in prominent companies, which could provoke a person’s potential to be self-reliant, while

also

gaining fabulous extracurricular experiences for their future career. In a nutshell, higher education degrees play an instrumental as well as defining role in human lives, for the reason that it could help them to pursue their dreams when engaging in comprehensive academic proficiency in their desired field, at the same time training their ability to manage time smartly.

Submitted by dungnguyen on Fri Oct 21 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct, there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

The government should ban smoking in all public places even though this would restrict some other people’s freedom?Do you agree or disagree?

The best curriculum is not one based on a static body of knowledge, but one which teaches students to cope with change. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Disscuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.