IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction regarding the web camera that I purchased from your company two days ago. My customer number is 12040. Recently, I acquired a web camera from your firm to attend Zoom
video
 calls.
However
, the
video
 quality is consistently poor rendering my image blurred during meetings.
This
 has hindered the intended purpose of the webcam and is impacting my ability to conduct virtual meetings effectively. It is crucial for me to meet my clients on
video
 during conferences in order to better engage with them. These teleconferences
also
 aid us in meeting virtually
while
 working remotely.
Nevertheless
, the poor quality of my
video
, people in conference calls cannot see my presence and connect with me; As
this
 is significant for my sales operations role to have face-to-face meetings with my customers. Please get back to me as soon as possible. I would like to get a refund for my webcam and recommend you check the webcam's functionality in the store before delivering it to your customers.
Thus
, avoid delivering the damaged web camera to the buyers going forward. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harini Venkatram
Submitted by harini93.ind on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear and distinct idea, with corresponding supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your opening and closing are appropriately formal, maintaining a consistent tone suitable for a letter of complaint.
task achievement
To strengthen the task achievement, make sure you elaborate on all points required by the task, providing sufficient detail for each.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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