Some people feel that entertainers (film stars, pop musicians, sports stars) are paid too much money. Do u agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

2.5 / 9

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Introduction

Nowadays,

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

the plethora

show examples

of people would like to become an artist for the sake of profitable earnings or an opportunity to become a famous character.

Body paragraph 1

I truly believe that celebrities earn way

Replace the word

too

show examples

much money

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

they should.

Body paragraph 2

Firstly

Linking Words

, ale over the world we have so many occupations which should be more appreciatable.

Body paragraph 3

For instance

Linking Words

, a sales assistant job may be reliably exhausting

Body paragraph 4

Moreover

Linking Words

; that

person

Use synonyms

needs to handle with unpolite behaviour of customers, who can be even

Correct your spelling

aggressive

agressive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

Body paragraph 5

Secondly

Linking Words

, being minor is associated with

unbelivebely

Correct your spelling

unbelievably

risk. The

person

Use synonyms

who is

decesive

Correct your spelling

decisive

to do that type of job has to be really strong and open-minded

Change preposition

show examples

opposed to actor or pop musicians who

doesn't

Change the verb form

don't

show examples

have to risk their

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

, but their

payment

Replace the word

pay

show examples

is much bigger.

Body paragraph 6

On the other hand

Linking Words

, becoming an

enterteiners

Correct your spelling

entertainers

entertainer

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their private life.

Undoubtly

Correct your spelling

Undoubtedly

, being a public

person

Use synonyms

is not easy for the sake of

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

papparazzi

Correct article usage

the papparazzi

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

desire to follow every

stape

Correct your spelling

stage

show examples

of the famous

person

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 7

Althought

Correct your spelling

Although

, if somebody is

resorceful

Correct your spelling

resourceful

, well-

ballanced

Correct your spelling

balanced

and smart undoublty can handle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many affairs.

Conclusion

In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

not only entertainers should be well-paid,

Correct your spelling

because

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

other occupations sometimes are more significant and treasured. I hope

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that one day it will change and employers will start to appreciate

hard

Correct article usage

the hard

show examples

work of their

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

kornacka.adrianna

Oct 21, 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

211 words

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Some people feel that entertainers (film stars, pop musicians, sports stars) are paid too much money. Do u agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet in order to meet friends which can cause potentially dangerous situations. What solutions do you suggest?

Q. In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, young people are finding it harder to get work. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effect might this have in the future?