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Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CARS ARE THE BEST WAY TO TRAVEL IN A CITY WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT BICYCLES ARE BETTER. DISCUSS BOTH POINTS OF VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycles #points
Transportation is widely used by everyone nowadays for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 from one place to another within the city or outside the country. Some people claim that cars are
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
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 compared to bicycles.
On the other hand
, other individuals argue that bikes are
easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
show examples
 means of transport than motor vehicles. I will discuss my views in the upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, using cycles
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the less expensive transportation
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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. The advantages are, it decreases pollution and reduces traffic. We can easily arrive
to
Change preposition
at
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 a place
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 desired time. It minimizes the emission of
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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 and saves energy. It is
also
 environmental friendly.
As a result
 of
this
, it protects our atmosphere from
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
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 of gases and saves from
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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 effect. Global warming and ozone depletion are the major problems today.
For instance
,
Add a hyphen
over-exploitation
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over exploitation
Add a hyphen
over-exploitation
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 and industrialization leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in diseases like stroke. Recent research shows
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
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 in chronic
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 like cancer.
On the contrary
, in some
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
 it is hard to use bicycles. In
such
 situations,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
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 comes into use.
For example
, in countries like Tokyo,
besides
 the pros of highly developed bridges and
roads
Add a comma
,roads
show examples
 it is difficult to travel a long place
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
. The companies where we are working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are far more
distance
Replace the word
distant
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 from our residence. In
such
 cases, we do not have any other option to go with. We can
also
 share our
ride
Fix the agreement mistake
rides
show examples
 with our colleagues. Sometimes it shows our economical background too. To sum up, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle has their own advantage and disadvantage. My opinion is, as of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 concerned, using bicycles will be a better option.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it saves energy and emissions of harmful gases into
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
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 and protects us from pollution. Serves us with
eco-friendly
Correct article usage
an eco-friendly
show examples
 atmosphere.
Submitted by preethikrish444 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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