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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Relationship-building and share learning Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

#individuals #skills #community #influence #profession #relationships #capacity #outline #hope #future
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I strongly believe that the key to having good professional relationships is collaboration. The way I seek to build good relationships is by contributing as much as possible to solving or helping my peers to execute their activities. I do
this
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 through three steps: first by observing the environment as a whole and analyzing where I can contribute, second by seeking the necessary knowledge and developing new skills with the use of appropriate tools, and third by making myself available to learn and gain the trust of my colleagues.
For example
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, when I arrived at the Judgment Office in Rio de Janeiro I was assigned to the 2nd class,
due to
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 my experience in tax refunds and offsetting. I contributed by analyzing the related processes and disseminating
this
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 knowledge to the other judges with practical cases in our judgment sessions. With the exchange of the chief, it was necessary to recompose other classes, considering the minimum number of 3 judges per class. I was invited to assume the presidency (substitute) in the 4th panel.
Although
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 I was satisfied with my position, I saw it as an opportunity to contribute to the new delegate and accepted. Currently, I serve as a judge in the 4th class
,
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 and eventually serve as an "ad hoc" judge in other classes, as a way to contribute to the maintenance of the sessions during the absences of other colleagues. The reason why I am currently applying for a Chevening scholarship is because of the contact with two other colleagues who are
also
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 pursuing professional development abroad, which motivated me to implement
this
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 goal in my life. I believe that networking is a tool for professional development, but
also
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 personal because the experience of studying in another country and having contact with people from different places in the world goes beyond the acquisition of academic knowledge. I believe that my collaboration will be even greater
due to
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 the experience that a master's degree in the UK can represent to my organization. Mainly in relation to the correct interpretation of international agreements and their application to tax processes.
Submitted by prifersou on

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task achievement
In your essay, you have provided a thorough response to the prompt by outlining how you currently build and maintain professional relationships, and how you hope to use these skills in the future. However, consider adding a clearer introductory sentence that outlines the main points of your essay and concludes with a summarizing statement to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured and fluid, there is room for improvement in terms of transitioning between ideas and steps. Using clear transition words and phrases can help guide the reader seamlessly through your points.
task achievement
Your essay is positively enhanced by your personal examples and specific experiences, which make your points more compelling and credible. This shows a strong connection between your experiences and your professional development goals, which is an excellent way to engage your readers.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively used relevant examples that clarify your points, such as your experience at the Judgment Office in Rio de Janeiro. This specificity adds depth and clarity to your narrative, making it easy for the reader to understand your professional journey.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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