In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

It has been seen and proven through different studies that some

people

tend to try harder and expend more energy not only in academics but

also

in professional work environments. In the section underneath,

this

essay shall put forth ambition as the main driver as well as highlight the benefits of the discussed behaviour. Ambition is the main reason expressed by

people

when asked about why they put extra effort into what they do, going above and beyond

than

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

expected. There are several reasons that lead some individuals to work harder in order to achieve their personal

goals

, among which, looking for opportunities to reach a better and wealthy life than the one they had when growing up, can be highlighted.

For instance

, Elon Mask, the richest man in the world, has expressed in several interviews that two thousand dollars and a bag full of books

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

all he had when moved to the United States at the beginning of his career. Some

people

argue that working longer hours or devoting most of the time to

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

could be potentially harmful and lead to mental or health disorders.

However

, human beings' lives are driven by

goals

, projects,

dreams

Correct word choice

and dreams

show examples

, and working hard helps them to get closer to their

goals

, which gives their lives not only a sense of purpose and achievement but

also

feeds their self-esteem. According to a study run by the Australian Neuroscience journal,

people

that achieve their

goals

are 30% happier than

people

who do not. In conclusion, dedicating energy and passion encourage

people

to achieve their academic

goals

, or conquer their professional challenges. In short, working hard

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is key to achieving success, which

Change preposition

show examples

the end makes everyone healthier and happier.

Submitted by jh.molina on Fri Oct 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Although, many people believe that it has more benefit to eat frozen or prepaid foods than home made. I think in a reverse manner and disagree with the given statement. I think making food at home is not juast cost less but is more healthy and provides the needed portains.
4.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern world, people are living longer than ever before. This is due to a number of factors, such as advances in medicine, nutrition, and sanitation. While an aging population has some advantages, such as a larger pool of experienced workers, it also has some challenges, such as the need to provide more healthcare and social services.
<4
band
Task 1 The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The two plans illustrate that the proposed renovation of the university's sport centre.
6
band
Should students choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The job market has increasingly become more competitive in recent times. Therefore, many people believe that studying some particular major would lead one to a successful and well-paid career. Personally, I strongly disagree with this phenomenon, and this essay will provide reasons why I feel that students should have a right to learn whatever they are interested in.
4
band
History is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
What is life without history? There will be no present and future without acknowledging the past. Most people are of the opinion that this subject gives us a better understandung of how we all evolved, because it focused on past events, our cultures,traditions. With history learning in our schools , the value of our forefathers are kept alive. Our roots are not forgotten , present generations can always experience the opportunity of looking back and understanding the reasons behind historical dates, the changes that moulded the presentday culture , the museums we visit, the arts, artifacts we love to watch are all what made history an intriguing subject and the need to keep it alive However change as we all know is the only constant thing in life.without change life would be stagnant and unprogressive.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Task 1 The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Should students choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

History is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.