There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures

Recently, there have been arguments that

criminals

are committed serious issues each year.

Therefore

, a number of

people

think that the better way to decrease the number of

criminals

is through the

death

penalty

as a deterrent. Even though, others think that other ways should be needed. There are some merits and demerits to using the

death

penalty

. I am going to discuss both

sides

Change noun form

side's

sides'

show examples

opinions.

Firstly

Change preposition

show examples

terms of the using

death

penalty

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is crucial

themes

Fix the agreement mistake

theme

show examples

. There are both

sides

Change noun form

side's

sides'

show examples

opinions which are positive and negative when I talk about

this

behaviour.

For instance

, there are several serious

crimes

occurred

Correct pronoun usage

that occurred

show examples

criminals

such

as killers, and terrorists. In serious situations, it makes plenty of victims

died

Wrong verb form

die

show examples

. For

this

act, it must not be accepted and forgiven for the behaviour

Change preposition

show examples

a human.

Moreover

, it is impossible to without

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

the

death

penalty

to keep

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deterrent increasing trend of serious

crimes

. The same valuable things make them understand

people

's feelings.

Secondly

, that of the latter statement which is other measures will be needed. Something

instead

of the

death

penalty

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

could be better than using the

death

penalty

because of relating to keeping better executors

heart

Fix the agreement mistake

hearts

show examples

. But, in reality, none of the

penalty

Fix the agreement mistake

penalties

show examples

is able

Change preposition

apply

show examples

over the

death

penalty

Criminals

should do the same feelings as victims which is the most important to think and understand about why you committed serious

crimes

Thus

, it is nesecerry for punishing the

death

penalty

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

criminals

. In conclusion, some

people

think that

death

punishment is needed for not making serious

crimes

. Though, several

people

said new things we have to find. At present, the

death

penalty

is significant to stop new

crimes

by humans.

Submitted by shota50195010sato on Sat Oct 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
recidivism
rehabilitation
ethical considerations
economic factors
social factors
community policing
public opinion
recidivism rates
community-driven initiatives
modern policing methods
death penalty
serious crimes
crime rates

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that it is better to learn something new in a group than individually. Do you agree or disagree

An English speaking friend wants to spend a two-weeks holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to find somewhere to stay give advice about what to do give information about what clothes to bring

The best way to solve environmental problems would be for the current generation to accept a simpler way of life for the sake of the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?