IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #lifestyle
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It’s
Use synonyms
 argued
that
Correct word choice
apply
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whether it is difficult or not for people to have a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 in the modern world. We all agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life stress or some bad habits
sometime
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sometimes
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 lead us to
a
Change the article
an
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 unhealthy
lifestyle
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. But in my points of
view
Add a comma
,view
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Use synonyms
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
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depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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 on
you
Correct word choice
whether you
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to
Correct word choice
whether to
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 chance be healthy or not. Actually, there is really hard for people to have a healthy
lifestyle
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, especially
like
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apply
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students or workers, because they have much stress from
study
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studies
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 or
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
They in
Correct pronoun usage
In
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 order to achieve some target work day and night that makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 have not enough
time
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 to sleep well and some of them even have no
time
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 or don’t want to eat, others will eat a lot of junk food to relax
themselves
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apply
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, and
it’s
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 unhealthy both for the body and mind. Whereas, if you really want to be healthy
it’s
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 not that difficult for you. To illustrate, if you want to keep fit and winder a good diet
then
Linking Words
 you will avoid ordering junk foods
instead
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 of
Correct your spelling
things
stthings
Correct your spelling
things
 like vegetables, fruit, meat and so on and you drink eight water
everyday
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every day
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 because the scientist said that
drink
Replace the word
drinking
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 more water can help to get away from
ill
Replace the word
illness
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 and keep your health.
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It’s sounds
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It sounds
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 easy for people to do
this
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 thing you just need to do the things like
this
Linking Words
step
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 by
step
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 and keep those good habits for some
time
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then
Linking Words
 you will have a healthy
lifestyle
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. All in all,
although
Linking Words
 most of us in the modern world actually have
a
Change the article
an
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 unhealthy
lifestyle
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 we stay up late, eat junk food and have no
time
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 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise.
Nevertheless
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, we can make a decision on our own to
choice
Replace the word
choose
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 which
lifestyle
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 to live if we really want to be healthy and fit, we can change it, even at the beginning
it’s
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 a little bit hard but
it’s
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 will be easier by the
time
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 we just need to
step
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 by
step
Use synonyms
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
you will open the door of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
!
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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