IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely into the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#feel #individuals #country #culture
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thanks to the invention of aircraft and trains, more and more
people
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 are allowed to work abroad or immigrate. Living in a new
country
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, certain
people
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 think that newcomers should adapt completely to the host
country
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 while other believe conserving their own
culture
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 has
a
Remove the article
apply
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paramount importance. In my view , both statements are right to some extent ,I will discuss
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 more specifically in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
to begin
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 with, preserving native
culture
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 has a pivotal role because it is personal wealth. To explain, in
Change noun form
today's
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today'
Correct your spelling
today's
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 globalized world we are lacking
of
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apply
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diversity so
people
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 with different cultures and traditions will make up a more interesting city.
For example
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, a Chinese that
go
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goes
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 to Italy
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could open a restaurant that cooks authentic Chinese food.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there will be more dining options for individuals that like trying new foods.
Moreover
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, meeting individuals that could teach you some
culture
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 about their
country
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 is definitely interesting.
On the other hand
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, undoubtedly that immigrants should learn and assimilate
to
Change preposition
into
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local
Correct article usage
the local
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culture
Use synonyms
 in order to live properly and have
good
Add an article
a good
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with
people
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. To elaborate, knowing local customs and habit is a must for newcomers
besides
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 the language. Take an
immigrate
Replace the word
immigrant
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 that
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to China
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, he should what are Chinese'
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 main features and character since it is completely different from
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 places. In conclusion, either preserving hometown
culture
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 or
assimilate
Wrong verb form
assimilating
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to
Change preposition
into
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 a new
country
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 equally relevant. Immigrants should strike a balance between these two variables.
Submitted by valenginis on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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