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New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#technology #children #time
Modern innovation brings comfort and convenience to everyone
however
 it changes the interest of
children
 during their free time. I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits of using technology among
children
. On one hand, new technology helps
children
 to escape boredom during their free time.They commonly use different gadgets
such
 as laptops, iPad, X-boxes, and mobile phones.
Moreover
, technology makes the life of kids easier, it helps them in doing homework and they could search
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 through the internet. There are lots of
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 to choose from where they can play games, scroll their social media, or paint.
For instance
,
children
 who were enrolled in private schools, are more advanced in the way that computer is part of their curriculum.
However
,
this
 leads
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of interest to mingle with other kids and health problems. Most
children
 prefer to stay inside their rooms to play games, watch anime, or scroll the internet all day. It isolates them from the real world.
In addition
 to that, it increases the risk of certain diseases
such
 as insomnia, obesity, diabetes and addiction.
For example
, in well-developed
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 more cases of
children
 suffer from illnesses due to lack of exercise and inadequate food intake of nutritious food.
Instead
 of going out to play outdoor games to lose weight or perspired they opt to stay indoors . In conclusion, the disadvantages outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 because it makes the
children
 focus more on playing with gadgets which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 detrimental effects on their physical well-being. It lessen
also
 their chances to bond with other kids.
Submitted by GRIMZ_21JAHA on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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