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Band 4

Student learn far more with their teachers than other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #teachers #sources #internet #television
students
 adopt more with their
teacher
 rather than
another resource
Fix the agreement mistake
other resources
show examples
such
 as social media networking and television.
However
, I disagree with the
statement
.In
this
 essay
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
your personal point of view and contrary as well.
To begin
 with, I support
this
 idea because of several reasons.
Firstly
,
students
 spend most of their time on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, so they learn far more things from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In other
words
,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most
students
 consume their time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different social media platforms.
For instance
, I am preparing for my
Ielts
Correct your spelling
IELTS
 exam, so I learn far more
words
while
 Netflix rather than learning my the tuitiom
teacher
.
Furthermore
, many
people
 disagree with the
statement
.
internet
 more detail as compared to the
teachers
. In
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
wordwords
Correct your spelling
words
,
students
 search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different topics so they get millions of examples and valid their questions because of some questions which the
teacher
 is
also
 not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
.
For example
, My best friend was preparing for business studies.he just takes the idea of the paper but he has all the information about it with
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
. Contrary, a Small amount of
people
also
 agree with the
statement
.
Secondly
, the way
teachers
 explain and teach them so some think nobody
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 them in that way.
In other
words
,
Students
 learn far more fruitful with
teachers
 rather than the
internet
 because the
teacher
 provides them with full
explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
show examples
 in class.
For instance
, my fellow tries his level best to do studies at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
while
 covid but the thing I
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 from a
teacher
. it does not exist anywhere on the
internet
.
Moreover
, I would like to outline more impact which
people
 argue in the fight between agreeing and
disagree
Wrong verb form
disagreeing
show examples
. a
teacher
 is a person who
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 them discipline.
In other
words
,
teachers
 tell
students
 to sit in front of their parents and elderly
people
. To illustrate, my neighbour's son who is just 8 age his
teacher
.
also
 teach him about the way he has to eat in front of relatives.
lastly
,
students
 adopt far more things with
teachers
 rather than
another source
Fix the agreement mistake
other sources
show examples
such
 as the
internet
 and social media. I disagree with
a
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
statement
 because
students
 spend more time on the
internet
 and
students
 gain all the information from the
internet
.
Submitted by aahil922 on

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Task Response
It's important to clearly address the prompt and present a balanced argument with relevant examples. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly present the writer's position and give an overview of the main points. Work on organizing the ideas within paragraphs to improve coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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