Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. on the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is true that nowadays nobody can lead their life without work it is thought by some
people
that completing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
education
is thought by some
people
to be the right path to getting a better
job
. Others believed that getting
experience
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
and developing soft skills are more essential. in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will examine both Sides and provide my own opinion.
on the other hand
, there are a lot of reasons why
people
believe that after finishing a
university
education
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
thought by some
people
to be able to
getting
Change the verb
get
show examples
a better
job
.
First
of all,at present time getting a good
job
after finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
level will be a good decision,
Besides
,it is so tough to
getting
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
a good
job
because nowadays have a very hard competition
for
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in
show examples
the
job
market that's why every student
want
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wants
show examples
to move and getting a
job
everywere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
,
that is
to say,a family spent more money
parpass
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par pass
of their
childs
Correct your spelling
child's
education
every family have a big dream that there children after
fenishing
Correct your spelling
finishing
the Higher
education
level after that going to get a good
job
.
For example
,everyone
have
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has
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
choice
chooice
Correct your spelling
choice
for made each other life better
by
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through
show examples
their earn.
on the other hand
,there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
why
people
believed that getting
experience
and developing soft skills is more
Correct your spelling
important
importent
Correct your spelling
important
.
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, every student ought to go for getting
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
experience
such
as
technological
Replace the word
technology
show examples
,engineering and any
kinds
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kind
show examples
of
job related
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job-related
show examples
training .After
that
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,that
show examples
they can apply
Correct your spelling
anywhere
anywere
Correct your spelling
anywhere
in
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
world because already they have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
experience
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
job
so they must be able to
getting
Change the verb
get
show examples
a better position with a smart salary.
for example
,in
this
day
without
Correct word choice
and without
show examples
experience
Add a comma
,experience
show examples
no one can get a better
Correct your spelling
position
possion
Correct your spelling
position
even not a smart salary. not only here nations but
also
around the world each person want to maintain their everyday family needs
this
is the way want
also
their better position
at
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in
show examples
society. To sum up, both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
have a contradiction but in my opinion
is
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apply
show examples
that after ending
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
university
level they should go for a
job
it is the best way
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
them.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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