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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides.

#people #children #school #cooperation #team #skills
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People have different perspectives on whether
Add an article
the school
a school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should teach
children
 to compete or work in groups as a team. Some people believe that it is better for
children
 to learn to compete, while others think that cooperation and team working skills are of immense importance.
To begin
 with,
children
 who compete against each other often do well in their studies, according to some.
In other words
, competition not only
boast
Change the verb form
boasts
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children
’s confidence but
also
 increase their eagerness to learn different things to
out-perform
Correct your spelling
outperform
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 their counterparts.
In addition
 to it, it is rightly said by many that
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 is unfair and only those
survive
Correct pronoun usage
who survive
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 who know how to compete and overcome their limitation,
therefore
 it makes it even more important.
For example
, a study conducted by the University of Sydney concluded that
children
 who develop competition as their core skills often do well in their later professional life.
On the other hand
,
children
 live in
society
Add an article
a society
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 where every individual to some extent
rely
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relies
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 on others
for
Change preposition
in
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 one way or another,
hence
 cooperation is critical. In conclusion, some experts think that schools should focus on competition, while others believe that cooperation and working in teams should be given more preference.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive
  • healthy competition
  • real-world competition
  • excessive
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • win-at-all-costs
  • detrimental
  • character development
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • group efforts
  • individual talents
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • balanced approach
  • competitive learning environments
  • cooperative learning environments
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