At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, youth contained the main
age-group
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age group
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of
population
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the population
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in some
countries
in
compare
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comparison
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to adults.
This
phenomenon has two positive and negative aspects and I think that negative points are a bit more than positive ones. There are various reasons why
young
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the young
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population
has positive sequences for
countries
;
First
of all, these
countries
will not face
to
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apply
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serious human resource challenges in the future. They will fill all of their job positions with their residents, and they will not have to import experts from foreign
countries
.
Secondly
, with
rich
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a rich
show examples
young
population
, they can concentrate on their army, because they have
lot
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a lot
show examples
of young people, who are unemployed and can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
a participant
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participant
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participants
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in some governmental jobs like
army
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an army
the army
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.
On the other hand
, there are several disadvantages, which cause by
high
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the high
a high
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rate of young people in
population
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the population
a population
show examples
.
Firstly
,
government
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the government
show examples
should spend
lot
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a lot
show examples
of money on
young
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the young
show examples
generation: they need various types of schools and universities, they need different medical facilities and
also
need many places which provide entertainment for them. Every single of these facilities
need
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needs
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significant
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a significant
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amount of budget.
Secondly
, by the time they need various kinds of job opportunities, and it will be competitive between them,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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will be not easy for
government
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the government
show examples
to solve.
Finally
, they will need
lot
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a lot
show examples
of residential
area
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areas
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for their future
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homestays
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home stays
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homestays
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, which needs various
type
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types
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of facilities, that government should supply them. In conclusion, I believe that
although
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
has several positive points, which improve the different sides of the country,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by naderiazin on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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