At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, youth contained the main

age-group

Correct your spelling

age group

show examples

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

in some

countries

compare

Replace the word

comparison

show examples

to adults.

This

phenomenon has two positive and negative aspects and I think that negative points are a bit more than positive ones. There are various reasons why

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

population

has positive sequences for

countries

;

First

of all, these

countries

will not face

Change preposition

apply

show examples

serious human resource challenges in the future. They will fill all of their job positions with their residents, and they will not have to import experts from foreign

countries

Secondly

, with

rich

Add an article

a rich

show examples

young

population

, they can concentrate on their army, because they have

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of young people, who are unemployed and can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Add an article

a participant

show examples

participant

Fix the agreement mistake

participants

show examples

in some governmental jobs like

army

Add an article

an army

the army

show examples

On the other hand

, there are several disadvantages, which cause by

high

Add an article

the high

a high

show examples

rate of young people in

population

Add an article

the population

a population

show examples

Firstly

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should spend

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of money on

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation: they need various types of schools and universities, they need different medical facilities and

also

need many places which provide entertainment for them. Every single of these facilities

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

amount of budget.

Secondly

, by the time they need various kinds of job opportunities, and it will be competitive between them,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will be not easy for

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

to solve.

Finally

, they will need

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of residential

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

for their future

Correct your spelling

homestays

show examples

home stays

Correct your spelling

homestays

show examples

, which needs various

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of facilities, that government should supply them. In conclusion, I believe that

although

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

population

has several positive points, which improve the different sides of the country,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by naderiazin on Sun Oct 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
From the dawn of time, having a career has been an inseparable concept of human life in order to provide necessities. It is a widely held view that workers who are above 55 years old, should be encouraged to leave their position to give chances to the youth, a theory which I fully subscribe to.
4.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is debatable that whether economic progress should be emphasis as a top priority among other aspects for the government worldwide, others argue that other types of progress are equally vital for the nation's success. Both point of views and opinion toward this controversial topic will be elaborated on in this essay.
7.5
band
Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
In this current era, some recruiters from human resources development (HRD) consider that educational qualifications are essential compared to practical experience when they are recruiting new workers. This essay will demonstrate the underlying reasons why pursuing formal education is still needed to support someone in the process of recruitment.
7.5
band
New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
There has been a long debate about whether the benefits brought by replacing manual jobs with new technologies outweigh its drawbacks. In my perspective, the benefits of introducing novel ideas in technology are of greater significance than the side effects because of the following reasons.
<4
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is no denying the fact that bad situations complex concept. While it is a commonly held belief that some persons hope that it is prefer to accept a sad situation, there is also an argument that other people say it is best to try and develop like situations. this essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, accepting a bad situation is an essential part in our society. In other words, the organising in difficult situations in general is popular and it is a hard thing, but they should to applied. In addition, avoiding a bad s is a great importance in our lives because it will help people in the dangerous times and give them also determination. For example, it is noted approximately 45 % of people accept a bad situation like job or shortage of money which is a few number.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion