The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some think this problem is due to fast food outlets.Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their child health. Do what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the modern, obesity among

kids

Use synonyms

in developed countries is increasing. some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

issue is causing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

branches. other think that

parents

Use synonyms

should be responsible for looking after children to their health.

However

Linking Words

, I completely agree with the statement that

parents

Use synonyms

do not pay

attention

Use synonyms

to their

Use synonyms

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

health. In

this

Linking Words

essay give your personal point of view and the contrary as well.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the vast majority of

people

Use synonyms

believe that

parents

Use synonyms

do not give

attention

Use synonyms

to their

kids

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible to look after their activities and provide them

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

portion of healthy

foodfood

Correct your spelling

food food

good food

. fast

food

Use synonyms

is not

issue

Correct article usage

an issue

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

do not go their

kids

Use synonyms

to parks and give more value to physical activities.

In other words

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

have busy schedules so they do not pay

attention

Use synonyms

to their

kids

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

are fully

responsibilities

Replace the word

responsible

show examples

for

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

take

their

Correct the word

theirs

show examples

in Pakistan.

For instance

Linking Words

, my cousin's

parents

Use synonyms

provide

his

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

with video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

and do not look after about

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

do not go to parks with

kids

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, I support the idea because of several reasons.

parents

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does

Change the verb form

show examples

not make restrictive tables for their

kids

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, most

parents

Use synonyms

do not

spoke

Change the verb form

speak

show examples

a single about their table because proper sleep hours are important for

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle.

For example

Linking Words

, my

parents

Use synonyms

never say anything about my

timetabletable

Correct your spelling

timetable table

. I midnight not say anything which

causes

Use synonyms

unhealthy life.

on the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who support the idea of the problem are due to different

outlets

Use synonyms

of fast

food

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. children choose

food

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fast

outlets

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rather than home

food

Use synonyms

because

food

Use synonyms

has more oil in

food

Use synonyms

which

causes

Use synonyms

overweight among the younger.

For instance

Linking Words

, KFC provides too much oil in their chicken pieces which

causes

Use synonyms

fat.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

believe that obesity is caused because of different

outlets

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

do not provide healthy

food

Use synonyms

outside and everyone

preference

Replace the word

prefers

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

. due to

food

Use synonyms

fast

outlets

Use synonyms

present

Wrong verb form

presenting

show examples

food

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

a beautiful way that

people

Use synonyms

attack

food

Use synonyms

which

causes

Use synonyms

obesity. to sum up, the vast majority of

people

Use synonyms

think that

outweigh

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweighs

show examples

due to fast

food

Use synonyms

other thing

Change the wording

another thing

other things

show examples

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

do not pay

attention

Use synonyms

to their

kids

Use synonyms

. because they

doesnot

Correct your spelling

does not

doesn't

pay for physical activities and restrict table to their

parents

Use synonyms

aahil922Sun Oct 23 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

369 words

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The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some think this problem is due to fast food outlets.Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their child health. Do what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.