Some people believe it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the present age, public concern has arisen about whether physical
education
classes
should be included in the curriculum for all students. Some people assert that it is essential to include physical
education
for children, whereas many others argue that
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
time is better spent on more academic subjects. The merits of physical
classes
are quite apparent. Since the old
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
an individual’s physical condition was one of the main priorities. A good example to express
this
point of view is the definition from the Renaissance era - “kalokogathia”, meaning that an exemplary person is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one with a proportion of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
psychological and physical health. Not only does sport improve one’s strength and stamina, but
also
clears the head.
This
argument can be reasoned with the old saying “In the healthy body - healthy mind”. So
consequently
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
advantages for students to participate in
education
classes
.
However
, some others may claim that children should better focus on academic subjects. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that students nowadays are getting exhausted quite easily from the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of school duties. There is no denying that a child is obligated to do well in all subjects creating a large amount of pressure. So, regarding
this
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
many people would assume that children should concentrate on the studies which will help them in future academic achievements, rather than on physical
education
. On the basis of the above discussion, I sincerely believe that physical
classes
should be included in a student's schedule, since it can help them clear their mind and help them concentrate more,
nevertheless
it shouldn’t get in the way of getting academic knowledge.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: