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Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion

Some people believe that university
students
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 should be free to
study
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 any subject they are interested in,
while
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 others argue that
students
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 should only be allowed to
study
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subjects
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 that will be useful in the future, particularly those related to
science
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 and
technology
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, studying
science
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 and
technology
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 at university can help
students
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 secure well-paid jobs after graduation. In today’s competitive job market, many workplaces require employees to have strong technological knowledge in order to improve efficiency and remain competitive.
As a result
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, graduates in fields
such
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 as engineering, information
technology
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, and data
science
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 often enjoy higher salaries.
For example
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, many IT graduates from well-known universities are able to obtain high-level positions in reputable companies with
attractive
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high
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 wages.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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 important for university
students
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 to
study
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subjects
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 they are genuinely interested in. When
students
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 are passionate about their field of
study
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, they are more likely to be motivated, creative, and willing to work hard to improve their skills.
This
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 enthusiasm can contribute to long-term career success, as individuals who enjoy their work often perform better and achieve professional advancement.
For instance
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, many successful musicians chose to
study
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 music because of their passion, which helped them develop their talents and build successful careers. In my opinion,
although
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science
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 and
technology
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subjects
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 offer strong employment prospects, allowing
students
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 to
study
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 what they prefer is more beneficial
overall
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. Choosing a subject based on personal interest can lead to greater satisfaction and success in the long run.
However
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,
students
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 should carefully consider their strengths and career goals before selecting a major. In conclusion,
while
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science
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- and
technology
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-related courses can provide financial stability and job opportunities, I believe that
students
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 should have the freedom to
study
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subjects
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 they enjoy, as
this
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 often leads to personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and professional success.

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content
Add more strong proof for both sides. Add a short fact or data to back up each point.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and link it clearly to the next part.
grammar
Keep sentences short and use simple words to be easy to read.
coherence
Finish with a clear view about your idea at the end of the essay.
structure
Clear opinion is given in the last paragraph.
coherence
Useful 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' links show balance.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
content
Examples are used to show points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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