IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #neccesary #governments #tax
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have much time to cook for themselves
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 they have to rely on readymade
foods
Use synonyms
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 undoubtedly poisonous
for
Change preposition
to
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peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and wellbeing
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wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. There are several acute and chronic disease
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from due to
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 habits and
government
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the government
show examples
 has to spend
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 budget to combat these issues.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
Correct your spelling
policymakers
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policy makers
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policymakers
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 should take strict actions like increasing tax on
Correct your spelling
junk
show examples
jank
Correct your spelling
junk
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
 to reduce
habit
Add an article
the habit
show examples
 of eating fast
foods
Use synonyms
 among
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, usually, ready-made
foods
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consist of unhealthy substances which can affect consumers'
health
Use synonyms
 either
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 a short term or
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. Manufacturers who are selling these products are more into their profit, they do
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 even think
Correct your spelling
about
abouts
Correct your spelling
about
 its pitfall. Due to
this
Linking Words
 reason, thousands of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 getting affected by various
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 and
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
food
Use synonyms
 poisoning, diabetes
malitus
Correct your spelling
Mellitus
,
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
show examples
 disease.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most individuals in
recent
Add an article
the recent
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 era are leading
sedentary
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a sedentary
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
, they do
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 work out much, on top of that
instead
Linking Words
 of clarifying
food
Use synonyms
 quality, they are consuming these items due to its
mouth watering
Add a hyphen
mouth-watering
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 test
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 they are having some substances which can be dangerous for their general
health
Use synonyms
 in long term.
For example
Linking Words
, to improve
Correct article usage
the test
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test
Wrong verb form
testing
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 of the
food
Use synonyms
, some multinational
food
Use synonyms
 chain
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 used a spice called aginamotor which can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 cancer and neuro
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to tremendous workload,
people
Use synonyms
 in recent days left with very little spare time, and at the same time,
coorupted
Correct your spelling
corrupted
corrupt
 businesses are taking
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 and selling
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 items
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 high prices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, consuming
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not only
detoriating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
 public
health
Use synonyms
 in general but
also
Linking Words
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
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 on
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 care system of
country
Add an article
the country
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 which directly
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
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 economy. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
provision
Correct article usage
the provision
show examples
 of
ready to eat
Add a hyphen
ready-to-eat
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 has made individuals' life easy,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the longterm
show examples
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
longterm
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
 it has more demerits than merits. So,
Correct your spelling
government
governments
Correct article usage
the governmnet
show examples
governmnet
Correct your spelling
government
 had better take actions like
food
Use synonyms
audit
Fix the agreement mistake
audits
show examples
,
increase
Correct word choice
and increase
show examples
 taxation to reduce junk
food
Use synonyms
 intake among common
people
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 these,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can organize
Correct your spelling
awareness
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
 related to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 and
food
Use synonyms
 safety.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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