IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is cruel to keep animals in zoos. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #zoos
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An animal is a living being that deserves respect, sadly there are people who do not comply with
this
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, but that
a
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an
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 animal
is
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in the
zoo
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 can be good and
favorable
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favourable
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 at a certain point. But well, aside from all that, an animal can be happy inside a
zoo
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, most of the
animals
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 that are in a
zoo
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 are not to generate income for a
zoo
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, but because in their natural habitat they were about to die, whether they had problems motor or mental.
On the other hand
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, there are zoos that take over
animals
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 to generate spectacle, which is very bad, and
that is
Linking Words
 where they would become cruel, it would be against the moral principles that almost all of us have. but being realistic most
of
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the
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zoos act for the benefit of the
animals
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 which after a time of training return them to their natural habitat,
although
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 people think it is cruel, it is the best thing for the
animals
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 because being outside they were in danger of leaving to exist. Now talking about what I think is that I almost completely disagree with the idea that it is cruel to keep
animals
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 in the
zoo
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,
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 because it is giving them a
second
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 chance so that they can stay alive and in the future return
them
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to their natural habitat, so they are happy and believe it or not, there are zoos so that they feel accompanied by visits from tourists who play or feed the
animals
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.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conservation efforts
  • Endangered species
  • Breeding programs
  • Biodiversity
  • Captivity
  • Stress or discomfort
  • Unnatural environments
  • Educational purpose
  • Scientific research
  • Ethical concerns
  • Virtual reality
  • Tourism revenue
  • Economic terms
  • Immersive experience
What to do next:
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