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Band 6.5

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #development #measures
In
this
 essay, I will be considering how some
teachers
 reward
students
 who achieve outstanding academic
results
 in comparison to
teachers
 that reward those that display the most improvement. While I will consider both views, it is my opinion that most
teachers
 focus on academic
results
 rather than personal improvement within subject areas.
To begin
, I would like to draw attention to the importance of academic
results
:
students
 attend schools and universities in order to achieve outstanding
results
 and qualifications. Since
this
 is of primary
import
Replace the word
importance
show examples
, many educational establishments are pressured to ensure their
students
 receive the best grades possible.
This
 pressure often leads to a narrow vision in which educators are so engrossed with academic
results
 that they sometimes lose sight of those that are demonstrating progress against those that are consistently receiving excellent
results
.
In contrast
, there are educators that prioritise development.
For example
, many
teachers
 provide feedback - whether oral or written - in order to help
students
 tackle their areas of growth. In doing so, they are aware of
students
' strengths and weaknesses. When
students
 make necessary adjustments and illustrate progress via their work, some
teachers
 celebrate
this
 through education-specific reward schemes and verbal praise. Despite
this
, I would argue that the majority of educators are overwhelmed by demands (often by their line managers) to achieve the best
results
; in a handful of schools,
for example
,
teachers
' salaries are performance-based and they only progress upon receiving outstanding
results
.
Therefore
, it is difficult to draw binaries and argue that it is either one or the other;
nevertheless
, I would argue that, while some
teachers
 are concerned with gradual improvements over time, as a matter of urgency and priority, most are primarily focused on
students
 achieving academic success via
results
.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Modernization
  • Homogenization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural practices
  • Economic pressures
  • Cultural heritage
  • Digital entertainment
  • Cultural organizations
  • Educational programs
  • Cultural tourism
  • Revitalize
  • Authentic cultural events
  • Traditional customs
  • Incorporating modern elements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: