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Band 3

Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Do the advantages of this practice outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #adolescents #pocket #money #world #practice
In
a
Correct article usage
the
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 modern era, providing youngsters and adolescents with life expenses it was already habitual in our life.
Although
 providing with funds
Change preposition
for
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teenagers have drawbacks, there are negligible reasons which are compared to the benefits. On the one hand, having money
an
Change preposition
at an
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 early age may cause harmful things. Young people are not fully grown yet, so, they will do what they see
themaround
Correct your spelling
them around
. One of them is a lot of people smoking in
this
 era and they will
also
 smoke to show that they have already matured to others.
Such
 as, there are more
schoolchildrenchildren
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren children
 who are addicted to smoking and drugs in the USA. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have enough
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
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 to buy them and school boys and girls are not
controlling
Wrong verb form
controlled
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 by parents.
Therefore
, if parents do not provide
children
Change preposition
for children
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by
Change preposition
with
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 money, they cannot study at school and there will not be self-confidence.
On the other hand
, these cons which I mentioned above have negligible
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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. If parents surveillance children and teach them how to
spending
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 it will be more useful to their future. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adolescents have to study while developing age. Providing
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life expenses
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to be much time to study and build
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
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 career.
For instance
, there is a significant difference between a child who has
a
Remove the article
apply
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pocket money and a child who makes
life-expenses
Correct your spelling
life expenses
show examples
 by
self
Correct your spelling
themself
himself
herself
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. children should be
Add an article
a focus
the focus
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focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 on studying
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 developing age.
Submitted by ziyatov9660 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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