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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Encouraging youth to do a job or migrate for one
year
Use synonyms
 after completing school courses and before commencing higher education is adopted by a few nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to explain some benefits and drawbacks for those who prefer to do that.
To begin
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 with, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 for work or travel has many advantages. One of them would be the invaluable experience they will get since they will learn new skills required for future jobs
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as managing, communication, decision-making and problem-solving.
This
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 experience will be beneficial for youngsters as it will strengthen their curriculum vitae.
Moreover
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, young people have chances to choose their line of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career
which
Check wording
path which
show examples
 they want to pursue in future since they can analyse the pros and cons of a profession
while
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 working or travelling.
Thus
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, having a
year
Use synonyms
 off is usually impacted positively and
consequently
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 provides direction to them.
On the other hand
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, a
year
Use synonyms
 off between
studies
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages as well, like discontinuation of
further
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studies
Use synonyms
 as youngsters would get lured by the minimal wages they started earning
while
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 working
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 could shift their long-term focus to becoming
independently
Replace the word
independent
show examples
.
This
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 would lead to diminishing the desire to continue their
studies
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, many students who are doing jobs for a few years before doing their master's
studies
Use synonyms
, change their minds to learn again by quitting their current jobs
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a major hurdle in their development. Another negative effect is that some recruiting companies do not accept a gap period between
studies
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 less chance to get a stable job. In conclusion, despite the fact that youth may get distracted by a
year
Use synonyms
 off for work or travel
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads to the end of their
further
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 education
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, it makes the young minds gain some essential skills and can select their occupation more rigorously.

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task
Give more clear proof for each idea. Add at least one real example or fact about what a year off can bring.
coherence
Make the flow easy. Use simple links, short sentences, and put the ideas in a clear order.
structure
Has a clear start, body and end.
content
Shows balance by giving good and bad sides.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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