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Band 4.5

The money spent by government on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals.

#money #government #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
Many nations worldwide spend a huge amount of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on
space
 exploration.
space
 exploration is categorised to be a benchmark of supremacy in the growing age,
However
, I strongly disagree that governments should be spending
such
 large sum of
Add an article
the fund
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fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 on
space
 explorations and rather should be spending it on public
services
. There are many reasons why expenditure on
space
programmes
 is not so beneficial.
Firstly
, it requires a large amount of investment
on
Change preposition
in
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 a particular programme,
thus
 if it fails there will be
total
Correct article usage
a total
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 loss of the amount invested,
space
programmes
 require physically fit
people
 to be trained under special circumstances, allowing them to deal with all the atrocities they would face out there, requiring more budget for training costs. In unsuccessful
space
programmes
Add a comma
,programmes
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people
 tend to get involved in
space
 accidents and lose their lives. I believe that money spent on expensive
space
programmes
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 should be rather invested in public
services
, unlike
space
programmes
, public
services
such
 as hospitals, schools ,
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
show examples
 aid
people
 in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 activities and provide
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 a better quality of life, better Investments of from the government would allow poor
people
 to afford the facilities at better prices and would allow
people
 with severe conditions to be treated by better medical machinery, it would lead to the overall improvement of a country as
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 would be healthier, more children would be provided with education and public transport improvement would lead in less emission of air pollutants due to more and more public using a shared transportation. In conclusion , My opinion is that government money, which is the money of the taxpayer citizens should be invested in their well-being and in
services
 that aid them rather than spending huge amounts on
space
 exploration projects.
Submitted by ayaansheikh2312 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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