Many manufactured food and drinks products contain a high level of sugar, causing health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In today’s era
sugar
became one of the most usable products
on the market. However
sugar
has a bad impact on our health, sugar
is causing obesity and sugar
diabetes. The problem is should sugary products
be made more expensive?
Firstly
, the growth in the cost of sugary products
will make us healthier. Due to
Change preposition
The
the
fact Correct article usage
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
sugar
causes many illnesses like obesity or sugar
diabetes, which became a burden of our time. Many people
are suffering from these illnesses, so increasing the cost of sugary products
will decrease the
consumption of them. Change the word
their
Furthermore
, profit from this
increase might be spent on healthcare or other social programs. Additionally
the government will save money on carrying by the ill Add a comma
,Additionally
people
, which suffer from illnesses caused by sugar
.
Another point is the growing popularity of healthy food, due to increasing prices of sugary products
people
might prefer to choose healthy food. For instance
, instead
of drinking Coca - Cola individuals will choose juices or still water. This
process will also
improve our healthiness
. Replace the word
health
Moreover
the market will Add a comma
,Moreover
also
adapt and will suggest more healthy or non-sugar
alternatives, which will be much cheaper. Farmers
will become beneficial from this
process, because of the rising consumption of their products
, so the government could spend less money to help farmers
. Due to growth in the consumption of farmers
Change noun form
farmers'
farmer's
products
farmers
will organize a
numerous new workplaces, which will improve the economy.
To sum up, the increase in sugary Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
products
cost will has
Change the verb form
have
a
numerous benefits Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
like
Change preposition
apply
people
will become healthier and organize a
numerous workplaces.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Submitted by dominikskorbus on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?