Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and school should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying accademic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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These days, some people believe that

students

Use synonyms

should get some opportunities to experience work while they are in school. Even though there are pros and cons, I entirely agree with

this

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statement.

To begin

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with, the knowledge that teenagers got from the experience of working would be helpful for them and it encourages them to study more at school.

For instance

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students

Use synonyms

will obtain information about the field in which they are interested. It could be significantly useful when they decide what direction they want to proceed.

In addition

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to that, people tend to study harder if they have a determined goal.

Thus

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making them attend for a short time working could change their attitude to enthusiasm towards learning subjects.

On the other hand

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, there is a shortcoming for educational institutes to hold the program equally for every single student. Because they need to find cooperative companies to ask to collaborate with

this

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educational scheme

also

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, the institutes have to ask them to agree with the policy in order to protect participants.

For instance

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, teenagers could be too excited about being out of their ordinary classes which can make

Correct article usage

apply

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cause

Change preposition

apply

show examples

huge accidents. The manager at the office and other employees will need to take care of the joiners very carefully. In conclusion, some people argue that providing

students

Use synonyms

chances

Change preposition

with chances

show examples

for a short-time work experience is a waste of money and time.

However

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, in my opinion, young learners will have wonderful opportunities to know the real world of work

also

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it will help them to set clear achievements for their future.

That is

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why I agree with those who think schools should send

students

Use synonyms

to companies or facilities to observe work-life.

kazu.s2.2828Mon Oct 24 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and school should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying accademic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermakets in some countries, many small and local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as squared and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission fee while entering. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?