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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
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The debate over what is the key to tackling hunger around the world become one of the main topics to discuss. One’s
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that through education it can be solved while, others consider
otherwise
, and offer
food
 aids as the pillar that eliminates
this
 problem.
However
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 foodstuff is the best option to fix worldwide starvation.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
this
 essay will discuss both views.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the idea that hunger worldwide may be tacked due to, education. It’s hard to believe that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban areas where inhabitants do not eat enough which leads to
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of energy can be good learners.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries like
China
Add a comma
,China
show examples
 their government found out that
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
 of hunger directly relates to
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 of students to learn so they decided to monitor student’s
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 sure that they do not participate in classes in a state of famine.
As a result
, most likely people may not be focused on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
moreover
, they will think about
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
instead
 of
discipline
Correct article usage
the discipline
show examples
 they are studying. In fact
food
 aids more effective
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
 to fix
deficit
Correct article usage
the deficit
show examples
 of
food
. As a role of strong argument
to
Change preposition
in
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this
 thesis is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human nature. Owing to “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs” every person can discover that
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 engine of
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 is the general needs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
of course
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
show examples
 includes eating in sufficient quantities.
Therefore
 it means that people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not capable of taking any action unless he is hungry. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 only actions can lead to changes, but with no
food
Add a comma
,food
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
actions. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to say that no matter what problem we are tackling it is about the tools that we are utilising and it
significant
Add a missing verb
is significant
show examples
 to know what leads to happening things we want.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 we can not expect the individual to read until he
taught
Add a missing verb
is taught
show examples
alphabet
Correct article usage
the alphabet
show examples
 indeed, it is the same case with education we can not mark
this
 option as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 worthwhile tool whereas, people can not satisfy their basic needs.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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