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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
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The debate over what is the key to tackling hunger around the world become one of the main topics to discuss. One’s
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that through education it can be solved while, others consider
otherwise
Linking Words
, and offer
food
Use synonyms
 aids as the pillar that eliminates
this
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 problem.
However
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 foodstuff is the best option to fix worldwide starvation.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
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this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the idea that hunger worldwide may be tacked due to, education. It’s hard to believe that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban areas where inhabitants do not eat enough which leads to
low
Add an article
the low
a low
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of energy can be good learners.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries like
China
Add a comma
,China
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 their government found out that
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
 of hunger directly relates to
ability
Add an article
the ability
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 of students to learn so they decided to monitor student’s
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 sure that they do not participate in classes in a state of famine.
As a result
Linking Words
, most likely people may not be focused on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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moreover
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, they will think about
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
discipline
Correct article usage
the discipline
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 they are studying. In fact
food
Use synonyms
 aids more effective
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
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 to fix
deficit
Correct article usage
the deficit
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 of
food
Use synonyms
. As a role of strong argument
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 thesis is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human nature. Owing to “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs” every person can discover that
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 engine of
human
Add an article
a human
the human
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being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 is the general needs which
is
Change the verb form
are
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of course
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
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 includes eating in sufficient quantities.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it means that people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not capable of taking any action unless he is hungry. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 only actions can lead to changes, but with no
Use synonyms
food
Add a comma
,food
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
actions. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to say that no matter what problem we are tackling it is about the tools that we are utilising and it
significant
Add a missing verb
is significant
show examples
 to know what leads to happening things we want.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 we can not expect the individual to read until he
taught
Add a missing verb
is taught
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alphabet
Correct article usage
the alphabet
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 indeed, it is the same case with education we can not mark
this
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 option as
the
Correct article usage
a
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 worthwhile tool whereas, people can not satisfy their basic needs.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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